It was hard today. I really, really wanted to snuggle up in bed all day with this Chicago-like Dallas weather. Ok, maybe not Chicago, but NYC for sure. It's cold, rainy and cold. We don't like this in our neck of the woods. But Suze's voice (Suze Curtis, my yoga mentor, friend and therapist) grew louder in my head, "just come in and lay down your mat...that's more than half the battle." I needed to hear her today, I needed yoga today. For me yoga is much more than exercise, although its' done wonders for my body. Oh- it's SO far from perfect, but I can only imagine what it would look like at 48 if I hadn't practiced for the last 5 years.
Yoga is my stress relief. It's the only exercise (and I've done them all) where you completely lose all mind-chatter. The poses (asanas) require so much strength and concentration that you truly cannot think about your to-do list, or your relationship, or your finances or anything other than making it through the pose. Sure, those looming thoughts sneak in every now and then, but then Suze commands "headstands" and they vanish.
Suze, and the other fabulous instructors at my studio, are my free therapists. Throughout the class they articulate a positive reminder of what life is all about. Loving yourself, accepting others, learning to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations and standing up for what you believe, are just a smattering of topics. Even the ceilings at Suze's provide inspiration. She often says "there are no accidents in life", so where you choose to put your mat down means something. I used to be a front-row girl, but this week, I've moved to the back for a reason I'll tell you about in another post. My ceiling tile said "I am happy". My usual ceiling tile reads "be child-like" - and I've got that one down for sure. But happiness, I'm not so sure.
Generally, I am happy. But as most people, I have issues and problems that weigh on my mind. Decisions to make that can take me in one direction or another. Concerns about my son, my parents, my sister and my friends. I have moments when I don't feel happy. I'm not working now (retired since I became pregnant), and would love to have a job that I loved. I have relationship issues that make me sad.
I envy the people that can say they are truly happy day after day.
Therapist Suze came to the rescue. Her final words of the day, that I found most profound, were "Are you pursuing happiness or creating it?" We're all in pursuit of happiness...but it's not something you simply reach out and catch. We have to take responsibility for creating our own happiness. Thank you Suze, I will.
Note: If you are in the Dallas area, check out www.dynamicpoweryoga.com for information on this life-changing yoga studio. Your first class is free...just come in and put down your mat.
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