Welcome! I'm a 48 (and 1/2) year old, wife, mother (8 1/2 year old son), daughter, sister, friend and volunteer. So, 48.5 really means I'm into my 49th year on this amazing planet, and on July 19, 2010, I'll be in my 50th year. The mid-century mark. L. The big 5-0. However you want to say it, to most of the English speaking world, it means "old". I want to get there with grace, passion, beauty, love and laughter. I want to get there the old-fashioned way: by taking care of myself, eating right, creating a balanced life, laughing and living life to it's fullest. I'll be documenting my journey and hope you will watch and learn along the way. I'll also provide some of my tips for looking young and feeling your best as we head to and beyond our mid-century mark. Here's to being "Beautifully 50".

Thursday, February 25, 2010

"How old are you?"

I never thought I would ever grow to hate a simple question, but I do. It's not that I'm not proud of how I look, how I feel, or what I've accomplished, it's just that I'd rather keep people guessing. Some people, of course, are very respectful and would never ask a lady this question - kudos to you! On the other hand, there are others that somehow think it's their right to know..even if they've just met you. Am I making too much of this? Probably.

There's one time when I like this question. When a stranger or acquaintance says, "So, how old are you, 40?"  I proudly boast my age. This, however, is happening on fewer and fewer occasions. So, what's a girl (oh, that's right, middle ager) to do when this inquiry is made?

Here are a few of my responses:

1) 38 (we all want to be 10 years younger, no?)
2) Old enough.
3) Why?
4) I don't want to talk about it..
5) "cringe"...48.
6) How old are you?
7) Mid-life crisis age.
8) One hundred and twenty.
9) Older than you think (hopefully)
10) I'm old.

I love Erma Bombeck's quote:

As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor
 School of Creative Mathematics, 
I honestly do not know how old I am. 


Didn't this work for Zsa Zsa? I don't think anyone knows her real age.  My goal in 2010, as I'm trying to embrace the coming of the big 5-0, is to say "48" (yes, my real age) with confidence.  What's your answer to this "age-old" question?

20 comments:

the gardener's cottage said...

Well I have to say embarrassingly that I am one of those dreadful people who ask THAT question. I usually ask it in the privacy of my room at work after I have gotten to know a client. I truly do not mean any disrespect when I ask. I suppose in a way it's part of my job but it is kinda nosy isn't it? I have no problem with someone asking me so I guess I hadn't put a lot of thought into it. I will be more careful in the future. Besides anyone can lie if they want to. I think the old story goes something like that. If someone is rude enough to ask then you can tell them whatever you want! Thanks for bringing up the subject and making me think.

~janet

La Dolfina said...

I'm like Janet, sorry to say... pretty direct because I really want to know! I don't know why exactly but I'm always curious about people and somehow knowing their ages gives me info that allows me to fill in the blanks. I'm usually pleasantly surprised, and they look great for their age but sometimes I'm shocked and wish I hadn't inquired!!
Good post, Cindy!!
So glad I don't have to ask your age:)

V said...

It's such an age-ist question and I can never understand why someone would ask. No-one should EVER ask a lady their age and no-one should ever tell if asked! My mother's response was always 'as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth'! Another reply could be 'I'll tell you my age if you tell me your bank balance'.

That's Not My Age said...

I usually say forty-something or over forty but the more I blog about being over 40 and meet gorgeous/stylish people around my age, the more I think what the heck! It's pretty cool being this age - apart from the aches and pains!

PS Like V's bank balance comment.

Cashon&Co said...

I think i'm going to start replying
"Old Enough"

Unknown said...

Ha! Glad to have found you, don't care all that much about giving my age (43), yes, people give me the whole shocked thing less and less now, I tell myself its b/c 40 really is the new 30, look around at all the pretty Hollywood ladies in their early 40s, 50s etc. One hand yay, other hand, uh oh, they have raised that bar pretty high! If you promise to never use the term middle aged again, I will be back...a lot. Don't care about numbers, but, that term, makes my stomach turn!(oh! and I want that poster!)
Sue

Antonia Rosina said...

While I don't mind giving my age, I DO mind being asked it. I think it is extremely rude to ask a lady her age (therefore showing my age...haha) I tell anyone who asks my year of birth on the phone, like credit card companies and banks, that I will not answer that question.

My mother always used to answer, "I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth." I love that :) It basically says "MYOB" but in a lighthearted way.

Anonymous said...

I think the more comfortable one is with oneself the easier this question is.

Anon

TheOnlineStylist said...

Ooh good topic! I've noticed recently that when people ask and I say 40, the response that I sometimes got of "No Way! Not in a million years!" has slackened off an awful lot! Damn it...must rethink the face cream!

Wildernesschic said...

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Kathysue said...

I always have told my age with pride of ownership. I have worked long and hard to get this old,hehe. I use to get more people that were surprised by my age but now they just look at me. That is a bit disappointing but time wears on ones face after a certain age. I want to age gracefully so I don't mind when someone ask unless I think they are trying to compare me to themselves and how they look. Honesty is always the best policy. I don't mind getting older as long as I still have a zest for life, that is what it is truly all about, that zest!! Kathysue

Anonymous said...

Missing your posts, hope all is weel and your "Dancing With The Stars" turn for your school fundraiser went off without a hitch!

Anonymous said...

Just tell them, you are about 17000 days old (age calculator). :) Isn't it funny that everybody wants to know your years?

Linda said...

I cannot think for one minute why anyone would ask the age of someone they have only just met socially. Downright nosey!

Different if it was in official setting where askee (made up word!) needed to know for record purposes.

Anonymous said...

I find people asking this question are often trying to judge or size you up in some way. I also find it sort of an immature question. It's what I hear little kids on the playground asking a new friend. As an adult you honestly can't think of some other ice-breaker? Find some other commonaltiy on which to hang a conversation. That's part of what's wrong with this society. It's so ageist. When you think about it, unless you're a doctor or an insurance professional why must you know? In general you can tell by looking at a person what age group they fall into: youngish, middle aged or old. When you start talking to a person their age becomes apparent. I don't mind telling my age (47) but being asked does annoy me because I know that I'm being judged. I also look quite a bit younger than the perceived societal stereotype for that age and personally I hate the whole side show atmosphere telling creates. You look so good for your age is not a complement. And no I'm not "proud" of my age. What have I accomplished? Managed to get up and live for 47 years. So what?

alliwantistheworld1 said...

Genius quote! so sharp!

Unknown said...


ahh, yes this question... something I noticed, I have been exploring tantra for some years and at tantra festivals never this question or questions like 'what do you do?' for a whole week and then the last night and day of the festivals in they come! so I hardly seem to be in places, spaces, where these questions are asked.. which is beautiful... it's not a question for the soul... my answer is often 'eternal' or 'who knows...' (again in the mystic vein) or.. 'today... hmm... I feel 6... 17... 166!...' as I'm writing this I'm liking the 'today I feel.. ' maybe a lovelier question, and inviting of a truer and deepening possibility of intimacy with someone is 'how old do you feel?' I am very much with this feeling to explore these new ways of communicating with each other - and from the heart, from the soul, beyond these functional 'social-tick' type questions. to truly feel into the original and loving questions in our heart. there's a whole rainbow of them! no need to lean on such 'tired' and listess questions! I tend to feel if someone wants to tell me how old they are they will, if someone wants to tell me 'what they do' and 'do professionally' also I tend to feel they will. and most probably because it is something they are passionate about. I only have energy to speak about what lights my soul, my passions and I only wish for conversations like this with others, and about what brings them joy. so I also feel we can be playful in our answers, and also inventive in our questions! Love to you, thank you, lovely to explore here. Nikki (Nikki Seren Words, Facebook)

Unknown said...

another question I never answer is any question that begins.. 'why..?' I find no intimacy or true connection or truth speaking in these questions...

Unknown said...

another response is simply a wordless beautiful beaming smile

Unknown said...

last two comments with love Nikki (Nikki Seren Words, Facebook)